Who's Out There

"...But if you want conversation, emotional intelligence and empathy? Forget about it.

You are better off with a labrador frankly…"

WHO'S OUT THERE

Basic Types of Men as seen by women:

by Fanitsa Petrou

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1) The Nerd

The socially impaired, glass wearing, Game-of-Thrones obsessed, Khaleesi fantasizing, Dungeons-and-Dragons-playing, nerdy guy, who has been bullied at high school, which is still the place where all his nightmares take place, who is fluent in movie quotes and quick with the pop culture references. The guy who loves his super heroes and his comics; who will be very useful when your computer crashes, but who has probably seen an unhealthy amount of Japanese porn, which is apparently really, REALLY weird, but not as nasty as German porn (it figures…) so small blessings, and which will have probably left him with an Asian-girls fetish, lusting over generic, tiny, submissive women for the rest of his life. Because of that, he may at some point of the relationship casually suggest you cut your hair in a bob and wear a red kimono while bashfully avoiding his gaze… On the plus side, he will be for ever grateful to be with you, given that he never thought it possible to be with a real, living, breathing woman - as in not one residing in the two-dimensional world of comics or the Internet.

Most valuable possession:

His hand painted, interactive Harry Potter wand.

His vintage 1997 Final Fantasy VII video game.

His asthma inhaler.

Biggest fantasy:

A new Firefly season (with a thin-again Nathan Filion)

Biggest fear:

The Zompie Apocalypse.

Peanuts.

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2) The "blue collar alpha male"

The guy who is athletic and squared jawed and possibly has abs of steel - though it is equally likely to have a beer gut. The fireman type, the military type, the builder type, the plumber type, the policeman type, the car mechanic type, who loves his mum’ s cooking and his sports, and possibly hunting and fishing (finding the skinning of animals and the gutting of fishes to be a manly, satisfying job); who is a problem solver, antagonistic, and single minded and in possession of power tools, and quite handy when you want to hang a picture. The guy who is a real survivor and knows how to take care of “Number One”, who has a perpetual need to prove his masculinity to other guys and his ‘superiority’ to women; who believes monogamy is for sackers, and possibly has violent tendencies, (courtesy of those famous, high testosterone-fueled survival skills of his)l; and who in times of trouble, (accidents, natural catastrophes, wars, storms, floods, the End of Days), will scoop you up before the walls collapse around you making you feel safe. (Until he gets angry with you that is, in which case you are better off being in the middle of that storm than anywhere near him) He is also very useful when you are being attacked by other men. (That’ s the thing about alpha males: you can count on them when you are in danger from other alpha males: in a world that is still a violent place for women, men’ s only truly 100% unreplaceable “use” is still, sadly, to save you from other men… Not just because they fight each other, having pissing contests over you and all that, but because a violent man won’ t think twice before harming you, but he may respect some other man’ s “property”- which is what you are, in his eyes…) He is in fact, together with the "The accountant / average Joe guy" (see below), the most common kind of guy out there. But if you want conversation, emotional intelligence and empathy? Forget about it… You are better off with a labrador frankly…